Lost Chances
by rikkucheerio
Summary: GorenOC.  This is AU to everything I usually write.  Bobby pays Andy a visit while she's in the hospital.


Bobby clutched the little brown teddy bear tightly as he paced the sterile hallway. He hated hospitals. Each time he'd had to set foot in one was when someone he cared about was sick. They held a lot of bad memories and brought back feelings he'd rather do without. For him, they were never happy places.

Though the glass in the door, he could see Vlad Hoffman perched next to Andy's bedside. Every so often, he would lovingly check the bandage on her head, making sure nothing had changed in the ten minutes since he checked it last. And each time, she would swat his hand away.

Bobby looked down at the bear in his hands, a sad sigh escaping softly from his lips. He shouldn't be here. There was too much animosity between them still. 12 months wasn't enough time to heal all the wounds. The wounds he'd inflicted upon them. Upon her. It'd been a long time since he actually cared about what happened to him.

He glanced at the window just in time to see Vlad tuck some of Andy's hair behind her ear, letting his hand linger on her cheek. Bobby squeezed the bear a little tighter, not even noticing he was wringing its neck. There had been many times where he'd done that same thing to Andy. In fact, it had been one of his favorite ways to touch her. She would always lean into his hand and he'd smile at her. The love she proudly showed in her eyes warmed his heart.

That had all been before the fights started. Not long after his shrink had taken him completely off the anti-depressants he'd been on did he start back on the path to self-destruction. He stopped going to see the shrink and instead, wanted to deal with things on his own. He had been confident he could handle his depression by himself. Gradually, he went back to drinking, trying to smother the hurt and replace it with nothingness. The only sleep he'd get would be when he actually passed out. Andy had put up with this and even tried to help him. It wasn't until he started going into work still smashed instead of simply hung over that Andy started to take a more aggressive approach in her attempts to help.

He stopped pacing and leaned against the white wall. He let his head fall back against the wall and brought his hands up, bear still clutched tightly in them, and covered his eyes with the stuffed animal. He screwed his eyes closed tight in the bears fur, trying to stop the scene from replaying in his head.

One Friday night, he didn't come home from work. Instead, he'd stumbled in close to 6:00 the next morning. Andy had fallen asleep on the couch, unsuccessfully trying to wait up for him.

_Closing the door behind him, Bobby stood in the living room, seeing Andy on the couch. The sound of the door closing woke her and she lifted her head. She smiled at him, glad to see him, but the smile quickly faded when she realized he was drunk._

_"Where've you been?" she asked as she pulled the blanket from her body and stood up. She crossed over and stood in front of him, looking up at him._

_"At a bar," he said simply, like it was nothing important._

_"Oh," she replied, frowning. "I had been hoping you were working late."_

_He was quiet for a while, but out of guilt, he finally spoke up._

_"I slept with… I don't know her name."_

_Andy was quiet, the anger clear in her eyes. After a moment, she drew her hand back and slapped him as hard as she could. She quickly stormed away towards the bedroom, but paused in the hallway, tears starting to roll down her cheeks. She pulled the engagement ring from her finger and pitched it at him, swearing loudly in Italian._

She was gone by noon that day. She was out of his life without a look back. The day after was the day he quit drinking. His sobriety was based on the hope of getting her back some day. It was only fairly recently that he'd learned his efforts had all been for naught. He'd learned through the grape vine that she and Vlad had been seeing each other for quite a while.

He pushed off the wall and scrubbed a hand over his eyes, clearing away the rogue tear. When he heard about her attack on the news, all the old feelings flooded to the surface. He still loved her. He would always love her. But standing in the hospital hallway, it was clear she no longer held any of the same feelings. In fact, she probably still hated him.

Movement in her room caught his eye and he looked over. Vlad was standing, but Andy was looking past him, out towards the hallway. She didn't look happy. Turning around, Vlad started to head for the door.

"Fuck it," Bobby mumbled. He dropped the teddy bear to the floor and headed for the double doors at the end of the hallway. Vlad stepped out into the hallway just in time to watch Bobby throw the doors open with both hands.


End file.
